The Loser

Today I come home, a failure
Receiving the same empty stares of a loser
My kids don’t jump on my lap anymore
As they got tired of asking what I brought them
My wife gives me demeaning glances
As she traverses to the kitchen
Hushing her loud sister cooking gossip

I am practically a no one
A wanderer of the earth, bearing Cain’s mark
The mark that is used as a bad example
To bar the young from becoming anything like me
I have been from job to job
Trudging through hillocks and beating sand dunes
But no stream seems to flow

I search for meaning
I dart to grope my purpose
Which is interpreted as laziness
And being less of a man
Because unlike other men
I cannot do unskilled jobs
Unlike the many who fall like me
I decided to hold onto what I believe

Here I am, alone in my trials
Brushed off by the very people who believed in me
Here I am, feeling tasteless of life
Concentrated in my world of despair
Not because things are thick
But because those I loved most
Loved me conditionally

#TheMentalHealthProject