Event Name: Verse5ve

Event Date: Cannot really remember but maybe July 2017 – The photos say so.

Theme: It was some Hip Hop thingy so I cannot remember.

Location: Bomblast Memorial Park

Gadget: Nikon D3300, Yongnuo 560 III Speedlight

Disclaimer: Forgive the soft focus, the WB and the overall look of these photos. My camera was in store for quite a while. I did not take many of these photos and that’s enough excuse to tell you – read the story not the photos. I now sound like those mamas who give testimonies in church saying, ‘Sikiza ujumbe sio sauti.’ ?

Am sincerely not a hip-hop fan. Not because am a hater but because I cannot get anything they say. It is more like conversing with a nduthi guy on full speed.

Him : ghhjkkkgcfghbnnnnhxgurd
Me :Eeh?
Him:jvvyffhhgfsasfcghhnkfthjijhhgdxsa
Me:Haiya!
Him: Erttyytyyuuytrewwtyhtee
Me : Kabisa!

Or me singing along to Mafikizolo’s Khona

Mafikizolo: ghhjkkkgcfghbnnnnhxgurdkwizele
Me: Khona!!
Mafikizolo: jvvyffhhgfsasfcghhnkfthjijhhgdxsafuna
Me: Khona!!
Mafikizolo: Erttyytyyuuytrewwtyhteepase
Me: Khona!!

If I try to explain my confusion with Hip-Hop then some people will kill me or stop listening to hip-hop. But am not alone. Look at the confused molecules below. All except one know what hip-hop is all about. (Don’t mind the guy on the left, he doesn’t even look hip-hopish, guess what he looks like ?)

I told you about the guy on the left. Huyu Kigoco tutamsaidiaje lakini? But look at Sponge Bob – Nick Mutumaish.

What was I doing though?

First impressions…

The crowd

Some poses

And… Niaje Brathe!

Then we had some performances (Forgive me guys if I do not know the names of these people, as I said am not a Hip-Hop guy)

Then another performance

Then the hypemen… Guys I school with this guy called Kibunja. Haha the little said about him the better… But he was a good guy ?

Someone translate Stonee Jiwe to English (You might win yourself a photoshoot)

This guy also has some worship pose. Imagine Stonee Jiwe leading worship in your church ?

And this guy is an incredible performer

Until these hype men started doing some choreographies…

But despite the poop position Stonee stood his ground. Apan tambua ?

Enough of Jiwee sasa…

But wait… Let’s take a photo first. And BTW is this how Hip-hop guys dress? Am kinda confused ?

But as I said… ‘Apan tambua’ Rhymes… doesn’t it? Hapa they seem like they be singing some Taarab music.

Now, I decided to document the feet of hip hop fans. And I did not like what I saw. If my mum sees this photo she will ask what are you doing for humanity son?

And this was the foot of our hype man Kibunja

Or do you think ati am a hater? Let me give you more evidence.

And I had an eye witness

Sasa si Recapp wakaingia stage – ustake jua

Now here we have a frobrem

Don’t get your village friend to such events. They will burn for you big time.

And finally…

Even bandana guy was laughing at him in silence. And if I may ask, bandanas still exist ama this guy is an extra-terrestrial?

Kumbe this is a family…

Ala, and then Kinuga spots Muigai and Kigoco and together they rock Hezeh Ndung’u.

Recapp’s 5 Stones turns to Hezeh Ndung’u – Kamurigo

Kumbe Kigoco is contagious…

Wololo.. Abort the mission, I say again Abort!!!

Last chance… Please abort the mission. Now Hezeh Ndung’u – Muthundukano starts playing in their heads

Sadly the whole world was infected. We can’t help it…

And Manolo realizes, “Clearly these people are from the woods, they don’t know what Hip-hop is all about. We should have substituted our show for Hezeh’s”

And then I realize am not alone in this “Papa Jones” thingy and I tweet about it – Now with evidence

Nelly Tuikong grabs the mike. For those who do not know Nelly, she is in Recapp. Haha talk about shining to non-hiphopers like me.

And then… Guys, is this Edward?

As Eddy in other news tries to get a selfie…

And then the main man (sincerely I cannot remember his name nor the country he was from)

And then hapo ndio nilijua amidst Kigoco people there are tons of real Hip-hop fans. They sang all of this guy’s songs word for word.

And then you all know how we wrap it, “Siloma take me one.” – Useless kapisa

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