Verse5ve 2017

Stonee Jiwee performing
Picture of Siloma


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Event Name: Verse5ve

Event Date: Cannot really remember but maybe July 2017 – The photos say so.

Theme: It was some Hip Hop thingy so I cannot remember.

Location: Bomblast Memorial Park

Gadget: Nikon D3300, Yongnuo 560 III Speedlight

Disclaimer: Forgive the soft focus, the WB and the overall look of these photos. My camera was in store for quite a while. I did not take many of these photos and that’s enough excuse to tell you – read the story not the photos. I now sound like those mamas who give testimonies in church saying, ‘Sikiza ujumbe sio sauti.’ ?

Am sincerely not a hip-hop fan. Not because am a hater but because I cannot get anything they say. It is more like conversing with a nduthi guy on full speed.

Him : ghhjkkkgcfghbnnnnhxgurd
Me :Eeh?
Him: Erttyytyyuuytrewwtyhtee
Me : Kabisa!

Or me singing along to Mafikizolo’s Khona

Mafikizolo: ghhjkkkgcfghbnnnnhxgurdkwizele
Me: Khona!!
Mafikizolo: jvvyffhhgfsasfcghhnkfthjijhhgdxsafuna
Me: Khona!!
Mafikizolo: Erttyytyyuuytrewwtyhteepase
Me: Khona!!

If I try to explain my confusion with Hip-Hop then some people will kill me or stop listening to hip-hop. But am not alone. Look at the confused molecules below. All except one know what hip-hop is all about. (Don’t mind the guy on the left, he doesn’t even look hip-hopish, guess what he looks like ?)

Verse5ve (1)
From Left: Eddy, Me, Kigoco, Dondada (Hip-Hop guy), Spongebob (KYM)

I told you about the guy on the left. Huyu Kigoco tutamsaidiaje lakini? But look at Sponge Bob – Nick Mutumaish.

Verse5ve 2
But hip-hop guys tambua each other Don dada has to look for my pose…

What was I doing though?

Verse5ve 3
Finally, Eddy smiles for the photo as I try to educate ‘my guys’ What a disconnect!

First impressions…

Verse5ve 13
Dj Area

The crowd

Verse5ve 14

Some poses

Verse5ve 7
Girl posing

And… Niaje Brathe!

Verse5ve 6
Niaje Brathe!

Then we had some performances (Forgive me guys if I do not know the names of these people, as I said am not a Hip-Hop guy)

Verse5ve 4

Then another performance

Verse5ve 5
Another performance

Then the hypemen… Guys I school with this guy called Kibunja. Haha the little said about him the better… But he was a good guy ?

Verse5ve 15

Someone translate Stonee Jiwe to English (You might win yourself a photoshoot)

Verse5ve 8
Stonee Jiwe

This guy also has some worship pose. Imagine Stonee Jiwe leading worship in your church ?

Verse5ve 9
Stonee Jiwe can worship ?

And this guy is an incredible performer

Verse5ve 12
Stonee Jiwee performing

Until these hype men started doing some choreographies…

Verse5ve 11
Now what is this? Poop position?

But despite the poop position Stonee stood his ground. Apan tambua ?

Verse5ve 10

Enough of Jiwee sasa…

Verse5ve 16

But wait… Let’s take a photo first. And BTW is this how Hip-hop guys dress? Am kinda confused ?

Verse5ve 17

But as I said… ‘Apan tambua’ Rhymes… doesn’t it? Hapa they seem like they be singing some Taarab music.

Verse5ve 18
Apan Tambua

Now, I decided to document the feet of hip hop fans. And I did not like what I saw. If my mum sees this photo she will ask what are you doing for humanity son?

Verse5ve 19

And this was the foot of our hype man Kibunja

Verse5ve 23
God be with his feet

Or do you think ati am a hater? Let me give you more evidence.

Verse5ve 20
Hip-hop feet

And I had an eye witness

Verse5ve 21
Even Lil Mson captured the evidence. You can go ask her for a copy of Hip-hop feet

Sasa si Recapp wakaingia stage – ustake jua

Verse5ve 22
Manolo – Recapp

Now here we have a frobrem

Verse5ve 24

Don’t get your village friend to such events. They will burn for you big time.

Verse5ve 25
Kigoco heard recapp and he thought it was ‘kikapu’ he thought of ndumas and ngwaciis and cucu

And finally…

Verse5ve 26
I Kent! Digehota. Is this a type of dance?

Even bandana guy was laughing at him in silence. And if I may ask, bandanas still exist ama this guy is an extra-terrestrial?

Verse5ve 27
Bandana guy

Kumbe this is a family…

Verse5ve 28
Muigai spots Kigoco

Ala, and then Kinuga spots Muigai and Kigoco and together they rock Hezeh Ndung’u.

Verse5ve 29
Kinuga spots Muigai and Kigoco

Recapp’s 5 Stones turns to Hezeh Ndung’u – Kamurigo

Verse5ve 30
Hezeh Ngung’u – Kamurigo

Kumbe Kigoco is contagious…

Verse5ve 31
Sponge Bob gets infected

Wololo.. Abort the mission, I say again Abort!!!

Verse5ve 33
To the left

Last chance… Please abort the mission. Now Hezeh Ndung’u – Muthundukano starts playing in their heads

Verse5ve 32
To the right

Sadly the whole world was infected. We can’t help it…

Verse5ve 34
To the front… Tingisha body ?

And Manolo realizes, “Clearly these people are from the woods, they don’t know what Hip-hop is all about. We should have substituted our show for Hezeh’s”

Verse5ve 38
Manolo – Recapp laughs

And then I realize am not alone in this “Papa Jones” thingy and I tweet about it – Now with evidence

Verse5ve 36
Me tweeting

Nelly Tuikong grabs the mike. For those who do not know Nelly, she is in Recapp. Haha talk about shining to non-hiphopers like me.

Verse5ve 39
Nelly Tuikong rocks the stage

And then… Guys, is this Edward?

Verse5ve 37

As Eddy in other news tries to get a selfie…

Verse5ve 35
In other news

And then the main man (sincerely I cannot remember his name nor the country he was from)

Verse5ve 42

And then hapo ndio nilijua amidst Kigoco people there are tons of real Hip-hop fans. They sang all of this guy’s songs word for word.

Verse5ve 40

And then you all know how we wrap it, “Siloma take me one.” – Useless kapisa

Verse5ve 41
Real Househelps of Kawangware


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