Life’s A Beach – The Flamingo Fun

Kitambi & Associates mentors Rono the village boy
Siloma

Siloma

Happy soul ultra pro max!

I recently went out on a holiday, one so glorious and filled with glam, glim and gloss and fun and bliss – crap! I am not a travel sijui holiday blogger. Am an IT geek who loves expressing himself in the simplest way possible. So lets start!

<!DOCTYPE HOLIDAYML>
<title> The Flamingo Fun </title>
<head>The Pack of Village Boys in the Beach</head>
<body> ? PASS </body>
<style> Now this is the real deal. I am intentionally not closing this tag.

Sorry I know many of you got nothing from the above. I feel you, you prolly know most things I do not know, like farting ?

Location: Flamingo Beach Resort and Spa, Shanzu

Gadget: Nikon D3300

I love my job. I sincerely do. Perhaps it is because I have worked in many places that proved employment is like dating an onion. I think my current job is too good to be true or we can just say that God has been too faithful. We recently went to Mombasa for some IT retreat.

Well, the name retreat is too fancy, given the fact that we had to do lots of training and exercises. We can say the retreat was after the long hours of exercising head hydraulics in the conference room, holding your head and jumping up and down during team building.

When you think of IT guys, you think of code, numb geeks, wires and very hard terms. You wonder how minds tangled with wires can possibly interact and have fun with another that’s full of code semantics. It is until you realize that at the end of the day we are all village boys who love having fun that all this makes sense.

Meet our muse, our holiday destination, her name is Flamingo

Flamingo-Hotel
Flamingo-Hotel

Isn’t she just beautiful?

Flamingo-Hotel
Flamingo-Hotel

Some have already fantasized walking with their spouse in this stair.

Flamingo-Hotel
Flamingo-Hotel

Official introductions: Village boy alert! Meet Rono, the village boy from Cheparpar

Rono, Village Boy From Cheparpar
Rono, village boy from Cheparpar

Meet Muli the kool kid. He will not appear anywhere else except in cool joints and product launches.

Muli, The Cool Kid
Muli, the cool kid

Meet Keith, a chat god. Phone to him is bae.

Keith
Keith

Meet Bryan, the actor from The Real Housewives of Kawangware. Let’s call him Dj Shitty.

Bryan, The Actor
Bryan, the actor

So we decided to hit the beach.

The Beach
The Beach. Wait, is this a beach?

No, this is it.

Flamingo Beach
Flamingo Beach

And now other introductions: Meet Dan the business mogul, to him, this was a business trip. This is the guy who wears a black T-Shirt, cool shorts, stunners and sandals to the beach. This guy is also Mr. Know it All. He actually took all other photos that are not amazing in this thread. So anything spectacular – Siloma, anything else – Dan ?

Dan The Business Mogul
Dan the business mogul

Meet Bonnie – The less said about this guy the better. I think he has been heartbroken by a crab.

Bonnie
Movie: The Notebook. Starring – Bonnie

Meet Kitambi & Associates, you can view their business site on kitambi.com. This guy is very successful in kula mali ya umma ?

Kitambi &Amp; Associates
Kitambi & Associates

Meet Brent: The band leader of Kativui Mboys Mband ?

Brent
Brent

Guys, this village boy has a salary, kindly do not ask me about sijui an MPESA paybill or something

Rono
Rono – The Village boy

This is how Dj Shitty goes swimming, in full suit, a singlet, man’s not hot shorts and doll shoes. ?

Dj Shitty Swim Attire
Dj Shitty swim attire

And as Kitambi and Associates mentors Rono The Village boy on how to kula mali ya umma Dj Shitty dies from exhaustion. Now Man’s Hot ?

Kitambi &Amp; Associates Mentors Rono The Village Boy
Kitambi & Associates mentors Rono the village boy

Spoiler Alert – The WhatsApper

Keith
The WhatsApper. Dear Boy Child, this is why we die single ?

So I also do not miss a chance to get a very blurred photo with Kitambi & Associates. I had to edit it several times.

A Photo With Kitambi &Amp; Associates
Me: Bro, ni nini hiyo umeona unacheka?
Mr. Kitambi: Wee washa nikuweke mufagoini, utajua kunusa mali ya umma ukiwa hukoooo.

Now someone from Cheparpar come take your boy back to the village. Hello Mr. Rono, there is no way you can dive in such a shallow ocean while standing ?

Cheparpar Boy Super Dive
Cheparpar boy super dive

See what happened? I told you. You end up…. Yuck! What is that in your mouth?

Cheparpar Salt
Cheparpar Salt

It is then that we decide that this cool kid won’t carry us baby… So together with his bae (his phone) we throw him in water.

Cool Kid Showers
Cool kid showers

Now this look, this is a fake Sossion fabricated smile that says, “We shall revisit.” Slay Kings have a way to look good on camera despite getting hurt.

Cool Kid Returns
Cool kid returns

And to pretend that all is well he sits on the shallowest end of the ocean though water and him are not best of friends.

Cool Kid Swims On The Shallow End
Cool kid swims on the shallow end

Now, this guy is the richest of all of us. You remember when we were kids, the guy who used to have a bicycle would have a flock of kids running after him. This is our guy. Sam rented a private yacht.

Sam Private Yatch
Sam’s private yacht

And then as a means to give back to the society, he gave Dj Shitty a ride, just for publicity and media. Look at how other village kids have flocked around him.

Dj Shitty Takes A Ride
Dj Shitty takes a ride

Our sponsor, Sam rents us another… I don’t know what this plank of wood is called.

The Voyage
The Voyage

And we decide to go get our cows from Magufuli. We kept shouting, “Magufuli Twasija!” as Brent psyched us with some Kamba traditional songs from Kativui Mboys Mband.

Heading To Tanzania To Retrieve Our Cows From Magufuli
Heading to Tanzania to retrieve our cows from Magufuli

We went too deep into the ocean but the sponsor said we should go back. You remember the kids who used to own a ball in the village and when he says he wants to play alone you all agree because you have never played any ball that has been upgraded to a cow’s skin? BTW what happened to those kids, do they now work at Adidas? Or are they the managers of top premier league teams? ?

So we get back to the hotel for some cool downs with Kativui Mboys Mband leader but suddenly he hears the latest track from Njino Monja Mboys Mband, their rival and he goes like…

Asii, Mblo
Asii, mblo, hiyo ni ngoma mupya ya Njino Monja Mboys?

Suddenly, Yaliyondwele Sipite sings

Brent'S Reaction On Yaliyondele Sipite Song
Hiyo ni ngoma yangu mblooo

And I had to jump into the water to save a brother from dying of shock. What are friends for?

Posing With Brent
Posing with Brent

So we do some fantastic cooldowns as a team. Damn! The water-therapy was good.

Water Therapy
Water therapy
Cool Downs
Cool Downs

Then every morning afterward we did this.

Sunrise Golden Hour Boat
Sunrise Golden Hour Boat
Sunrise Hands
Sunrise Hands
Sunrise Jump
Sunrise Jump
Sunrise
Beach mornings are bae
Sunrise-Golden-Hour
Sunrise-Golden-Hour
Malindi-Beach-Day
Shanzu-Beach-Day
Bliss
Bliss
The Morning Photoshoot
The Morning Photoshoot
The Shoot
The Shoot
All Hail
All Hail
Dawn On Me
Dawn on me
Hey! Girls
Hey! Girls
J.u.m.p
J.U.M.P
The P.u.n.c.h
The P.U.N.C.H
Man'S Not Hot
Man’s Not Hot
Mr. Kitambi Can Jump
Mr. Kitambi can Jump

And then we had to wrap it like a Soap Opera. Cuando Seas NHIF IT. ?

A Scene From Cuando Seas Mia
A scene from Cuando seas mia

So that was the amount of fun that we had. I have tons of photos but all couldn’t fit in this post. This was a fun-filled and glorious work holiday!

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10 Responses

  1. Wooow!! You are blessed brother.. That’s talent!! Thank God you are using it in an amazing way. Wish you overflowing blessings!!!
    Martha NHIF Kitui

  2. You have made my day!!! This was fun looking through and reading the kitambi and village boy all together with the Dj to spoiler alert ?????
    Hahahaha

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