Humor

My Village People Photo Credit www.kikuyucradle.com, Rocco DeFilippis
Humor

My Village People

My village people, I know you are eagerly waiting to help us offload our baggage off our cars as you give us those double-sided hugs. Forgive us for touching your kids’ hair and asking them ‘ulikuwa number ngapi’ as if we have something great planned for them.

Plot Ten
Humor

Plot Ten

Plot ten was a no-go zone because it was where prostitutes and chang’aa bruised degenerates would do their transactions. One day we were awakened by wails and I witnessed something that completely changed my life.

Mama Soda
Humor

Mama Soda

I thank Mama Soda for my life because the first fridge I ever saw in life was hers (Or was it Coca-Cola’s? 😕). I knew that all refrigerators were red and they had a posho mill engine because of the noise they produced.

A Shocked African Mum
Humor

Born of An African Mum

My mom is the reason I am not married. I remember I was standing beside my primary school crush spitting M.S Patel’s English Aid lines and she swiftly walked past us jealously saying, “You wouldn’t say that this is the same Siloma who farts like a torn drum every night.”

Real Men Go To Kinyozis Not Barbershops
Humor

Real Men Go To Kinyozis Not Barbershops

Barbershops are for softies who love their heads caressed with eyebrow-deprived female attendants. I only get my hair cut in a Kinyozi. A place where the tail of a dead cow does its magic.

This Cold
Humor

This Cold

There is nothing as disheartening as being a bachelor in Kenya especially at this time when they are all casting for the animation movie, Frozen. The government has just increased

I Farted in A Police Car
Humor

I Farted in A Police Car

“Na kuna jangili imechafua hewa hapa.” One policeman said, “Yaani kuna kijana hapa imeamua kuharibu mali ya serikali.” Do you know why I hate lawyers? One is because of their prefixed titles e.g. H.E, MBS, HIV, LLB Hons, WHO, Esq. Barabbas Owiyo and two is because they never told me that the capital crime in Kenya is to fart in a police car.

I Think I Need An 'Almighry Gad' Kind of Girl
Humor

I Think I Need An ‘Almighry Gad’ Kind of Girl

Some girl somewhere is on her knees praying for a tall, handsome, sanctified, demon-chasing kind of a man who speaks in King Jameth English. I am that man. I want to connect to her in the spirit but the cockroaches doing bad manners in my microwave would not let me concentrate.